


I've waited a hundred years (But I'd wait a million more for you)

by ari_sia



Category: 30歳まで童貞だと魔法使いになれるらしい | 30-sai Made Doutei da to Mahou Tsukai ni Nareru Rashii (TV), 30歳まで童貞だと魔法使いになれるらしい | Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?! (Manga)
Genre: Character Study, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, if you saw me coping with my depression by writing too many fics you didn't, that's just from kurosawa's yearning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:01:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28388187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ari_sia/pseuds/ari_sia
Summary: Loving Adachi is the hardest thing Kurosawa has ever done.
Relationships: Adachi Kiyoshi/Kurosawa Yuichi
Comments: 25
Kudos: 128





	I've waited a hundred years (But I'd wait a million more for you)

I've waited a hundred years  
But I'd wait a million more for you  
Nothing prepared me for  
What the privilege of being yours would do

-Turning Page, Sleeping at Last

* * *

Loving Adachi is the hardest thing Kurosawa has ever done.

Adachi walks in with a bedhead and Kurosawa’s heart melts at the sight, and then feels a familiar ache overcome him. Kurosawa passes by Adachi’s desk feeling and then smiles at the man, ‘Good morning’ he says in the most cheerful voice he can manage. Adachi looks up at him, expression blank, and nods, mumbling a quiet, ‘Good morning’ in return. Kurosawa hates how much he loved Adachi’s voice.

Loving Adachi is the hardest thing Kurosawa has ever done.

To have him so close to him, to be able to hear him, see him smile, to be able to feel his warmth and yet be so far away from him. To know that he would always have Adachi at an arm’s length but he could never really be with him. And to realize that at most they could maybe become the closest friends but would always be separated by a chasm created by his one-sided affection. To hope that maybe he could bridge that gap on their best days only to have that hope brutally crushed by his reality.

It is more painful than Kurosawa could ever be able to put into words.

And _yet_ …

Adachi comes over to his desk to hand him a file, explaining that Kurosawa needed to give it once over before passing it on the chief. Then Adachi’s hand brushes past Kurosawa’s shoulder very lightly but Kurosawa feels the entire weight of that light touch almost crush him, then Adachi smiles a very small smile and says, ‘Well, work hard.’ And walks away like he hadn’t just almost just broken Kurosawa and built him back up anew with that single gesture.

Loving Adachi is the hardest thing Kurosawa has ever done.

And yet, loving Adachi is as easy as breathing.

Kurosawa looks at Adachi’s sleeping form, tucking him in, he can’t help but feel an overwhelming need to caress Adachi’s cheek overcome him. A need to tell hold him, to give him everything he has to offer. Kurosawa flinches a little and retracts his hand, trying to contain the storm brewing up inside him.

He feels it when he watches Adachi run up to him on that bridge, looking panicked and out of breath, and a wave of worry washes all over him even though he had just promised himself to let go of these feelings he held. He feels it when Adachi apologizes, over and over, and Kurosawa feels himself crumble piece by piece thinking Adachi was rejecting him.

He feels it when he feels ever single fiber in his body pulses with anticipation and hope when Adachi says that the time, he spent with Kurosawa weren’t bad.

He feels it when he hears, ‘I like you, Kurosawa’ and the entire world stops for a split second, until he is moving without even realizing it and Adachi is in his arms and it feels like after an eternity, he can finally breathe again.

 _And_ _yet_ , loving Adachi is as easy as breathing.

Almost as if he was made for the sole purpose of loving him.

Holding Adachi is effortless, making him laugh is a blessing, having Adachi beside him, always, is more than he deserves but the only thing he’s ever needed to breathe easy. The safest he’s ever felt was in Adachi’s embrace and he found a home in their linked hands, the smile on Adachi’s lips and the mischievous look in his eye.

So, when Adachi says he doesn’t want to lose his power, Kurosawa wants to scream, he wants cry and beg. He wants to be selfish, but he threads himself together and breathes as he kneels down in front of Adachi. He musters up every last ounce of strength in his body and swallows down the pain like it was honey.

‘Then, let’s just end it here.’

He feels his own words sink into him like a thousand needles, piercing every inch of his skin, leaving no part of him unhurt, unbruised. He stays still as Adachi walks away with all his happiness leaving behind Kurosawa’s bleeding heart, the traitorous little fucker, that still only beats for Adachi.

Loving Adachi is the hardest thing Kurosawa has ever done.

And no matter how painful it gets; Kurosawa will never stop loving Adachi

He finds himself buying fucking pens, putting them in a red velvet box, on the off chance that if Adachi did show up to the rooftop, if he decided to give them another chance, he’d never let him go again. This time he’d be selfish. And if he didn’t show up…Kurosawa decides he has enough memories of Adachi smiling at him to last him an eternity. Or so he hopes.

In the end, he doesn’t have to find out if he was right or not because Adachi is there, screaming his name, looking right at him, just as teary as Kurosawa and that’s when he realizes that he can let himself break now. It’s okay now. He has Adachi in his arms again and this time he isn’t letting him get away.

Loving Adachi is the hardest thing Kurosawa has ever done.

And yet, loving Adachi is as easy as breathing.

Almost as if he was made for the sole purpose of loving him.

Adachi wakes up in his arms every day and laughs at his stupid jokes. He chases Kurosawa around their little apartment and whines when Kurosawa takes his pictures or teases him a little too much. He hugs Kurosawa tightly on the days that he feels like he just wants to keel over and sleep forever. He holds Kurosawa as he cries and whispers softly into his hair, ‘It’s okay Yuichi, I’m here.’ On days Kurosawa feels like he has nothing more than his face, Adachi welcomes him home and kisses him softly on the lips as if to say, ‘You have me. You will always have me’ and Adachi makes sure Kurosawa would never drown in anything except love and reassurance and the promise to hold him even when he was stripped down to nothing but his insecurities.

Loving Adachi is the hardest thing Kurosawa has ever done because it almost feels like a dream. On some days he wonders how he got so lucky but he doesn’t dwell on it because when he feels his heart ache with love, looking at Adachi nestled into his chest, he is reminded that loving Adachi is as easy as breathing.

And no matter how painful it gets or how easy it becomes; Kurosawa will never stop loving Adachi. His entire being rebels against the very idea of it. He doesn’t know what the future holds for them but right now all he knows is that if he ever stops loving Adachi, he wouldn’t be himself anymore. Adachi is everything Kurosawa’s soul aches for.

Adachi is everything.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!   
> Please leave a comment <3


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